Ego-Based Relationships vs. True Surrender

For many of us, our ego wants a relationship to last forever.

But the truth is, we just don't know. And we have no control over whether it will or not.

Once we let go of using this as a marker of how worthy we are, or of how successful this makes us, we gain true freedom.

We are able to see that the curriculum of life was specifically designed for us, with certain people and situations coming into our lives at various times as learning opportunities.

We begin to understand why certain relationships occurred and why they weren't meant to last forever.

Twice in my life when I was absolutely sure with every fiber of my being that I would be with x for the rest of my life, I was shown differently, and had to let go.

It wasn't what my ego wanted, but it was what was true.

Neither case was due to a broken 'picker' or lack of discernment.

Both cases had to happen, and the bulk of my work comes from the lessons learned through darkness up to light.

The lesson here is not to be afraid of love, it's to trust your life - deeply. To surrender your ego to the higher thing and let that take the wheel.

I enter relationships open heartedly and don't hold back. I do this despite knowing my heart may get smashed, despite understanding I have no control of the outcome.

However, I also don't 'settle' for years and years in something that's out of alignment. I learned that lesson long ago.

For me, letting relationships unfold as they may and releasing concern about what others think has been a beautiful thing, but beyond that, it's just what's true.

I show up and I do my best, but ultimately, the universe is in control.

I see this as part of the new paradigm of relationships - using relationships as a crucible, respecting them as an evolutionary vehicle, and also being devoted to Truth above all else.

Releasing the grip of the ego and surrendering to the higher thing is critical for all of this.

With divine union being union with God, I believe that we are all being nudged in this direction.

How wide open can you surrender, trusting every twist and turn of your life?

This path is not easy, and the resistance is there every step of the way - until you can fully release every ounce of distrust in God and allow your human form to become a conduit of the divine.

This is one reason why, profoundly, the path of relationships has been a deeply spiritual path for me.


Leigh-Anne LoPinto is a psychologist, relationship coach, and breathwork teacher with 12+ years of experience.  She works with people all over the world to heal relationship wounds, develop healthy self-love, and attract incredible relationships.  She specializes in conscious relationships and divine union, using relationships to evolve on a soul level. 

Learn more about The Wayshowers mentorship here.