THE ANTIDOTE TO CASUAL LOVE, SEX + RELATIONSHIPS
Hedonistic, self-serving encounters with whoever's down seems to be the norm these days.
This hyper-sxualized, anything goes mentality propped up by apps, media, 'sx positivity' (and a lot more perversion) is directly tied to the destruction of healthy relationships with depth and long-term commitment.
There IS a middle way between hyper sxuality and suppressed sxuality, but I hear no one talking about it.
People can do whatever they want (and I certainly had my time to explore), but this has taken over all age groups and is lasting much longer than the 20's.
Our world has become a hedonistic playground, and the misuse of sxuality will be the death of us.
Casual hookup culture without ever settling down is directly eroding the family unit and healthy households.
What are our children learning?
Monogamous, long-term relationships are not only the foundation for a healthy family structure and society, but THEY ARE THE KEY TO HUMAN EVOLUTION.
And because the pendulum has swung so far in the other direction, we've descended into the dark ages.
People are no longer able to withstand a relationship that doesn't constantly stroke their ego.
They are resistant to the mirror of relationship, the full on blessing of this kind of evolutionary potential that can help you heal your wounds, show you all your blind spots, and peel back the layers of the false self.
The world is not here to prop up your ego.
It is here to destroy it.
Mix in (intentionally programmed) massive gender confusion and a culture all too willing to cut out God-given body parts, and I am deeply concerned about the state of humanity - including anyone who thinks all of this is normal and healthy.
It has never been more inverted than it is right now, and many are predicting that it will get worse.
So. If you are concerned, it has never been a more important time to devote yourself to healthy relationships.
You'll be doing the world a favor.
Here's how you do it:
1. Be clear with what you are looking for in love, sex, and relationships. What do you REALLY want, deep down?
2. If you want a healthy relationship, get humble. Understand that you will have to learn what this means, and commit to it. This includes reading books, taking classes, working with coaches, surrounding yourself with people in healthy relationships, etc.
We aren't taught what healthy relationships are and have no models, so there is no shame.
3. If you are searching for a relationship, do not date without intention. Don't spend time with people who just want to 'hang out' without any communication (or clarity) on what they are looking for.
4. Men: directly ask a woman out on a date. Make it clear what your intention is instead of being vague.
5. Be direct, open, and honest at all times. These are just BASIC, healthy communication skills.
6. Once you're in a relationship, prioritize getting support from a coach, and continually pursue mastery of relationships through learning and growing together as a couple.
Proactively work with someone to support the health and expansion of the relationship WAY before things get difficult. Do not wait to seek support at the final hour.
If you have a pattern of relationships that have not been successful, you are setting yourself up for failure if you think things will magically correct themselves the next time around.
7. In a relationship, know that all of your 'stuff' will come up. This is GREAT - it's an opportunity to heal together. Both people should know this, expect it, and turn towards it with love, knowing that this is the whole purpose of relationships.
8. Learn healthy conflict resolution and communication skills. Watch your tendency to run and hide, abandon the relationship prematurely, or sweep things under the rug. Getting through bumps in the road in a healthy way strengthens the relationship, and if yours can't withstand this, that's a red flag.
Start with these basics, this is the foundation. Reach out if you need support.