What True Liberation Really Is
The humble path of shadow work
Today, I'm thinking about that famous Carl Jung quote, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
And one of my teachers made a similar observation recently that “until you control your subconscious, something else will gladly control it.”
This is all very true.
I had no clue what any of this meant until shadow work found me years ago and illuminated several unconscious patterns I was playing out in relationships.
These patterns had me stuck in a repeating cycle of pain, suffering, and heartbreak.
The worst part was that I truly felt like a victim of life, that “poor me” mentality infecting my day to day reality and coloring the lens of my entire existence.
This is what happens when we remain ignorant of the power of the unconscious, the force running behind the scenes that creates 95% of our reality.
I was not able to escape that ‘poor me’ mentality until I learned that unconscious creates 95% of our reality, and I began to take a look at what was there. This continues to be the most most empowering thing I have ever come across, and it changed my whole life in a very dramatic way.
Unfortunately, people do not seem to fully grasp the power of the unconscious mind, instead using the 5% power of the conscious mind to ‘create their reality,’ using willpower, intentions, and conscious desires to try to shape their life.
What they don’t realize is that they are bypassing the incredible force of the unconscious. They don’t understand why their life does not match what their personal will is attempting to force.
This is because the subconscious is what truly creates our reality, and so you must work from that place.
Helping clients to uncover subconscious patterns is absolutely the most fulfilling part of my job.
Some people believe that the subconscious exists in our energy field, and attracts or repels things in our lives based on the programming that is running behind the scenes.
(I have seen evidence of this from my work in combining therapy and breathwork together, which works on both the psychological and energetic levels. First, I experienced this firsthand in my life, and then repeatedly with clients.)
True liberation is freedom from the bondage of unhealed wounds that constantly re-create patterns in our lives, and once we make the unconscious conscious, we begin to change our program and experience massive, permanent shifts in our lives.
Additionally, this is a potent path of soul evolution where life is truly a school to help us grow and evolve into higher states of consciousness.
My life has forever changed as a result of shadow work, and seven years ago I became passionate about helping others to do the same.
It might seem on the surface that the time and energy it takes to do this inner work is too much, too overwhelming, etc - and the truth is that everything in this world is trying to distract us from it.
That's why God/Spirit/The Universe often has to come in and get our attention in very uncomfortable ways when we repeatedly turn the other cheek.
This is how it went down in my life and I have made a promise to myself that it will never happen again. Now I am proactive about facing my shadow - work that continues until our last day, there are always more layers - because I know that every single minute I spend on this work pays off x100.
The penalty for putting it off until another day can be severe, and I will not go down that road again.
Because I have walked through this in my own life and help others to do the same every day, I have gotten quite good at being able to help people see unconscious patterns quickly.
Here are some of the common patterns that are able to be transformed:
having poor boundaries and settling for less than you deserve
insecure attachment styles
low levels of self-love, self-worth and self-respect
fear of open or authentic communication
codependency
the empath-narcissist trap
mother wounds and father wounds impacting our adult relationships
victim-rescuer-persecutor dynamics
wounded feminine and masculine
people-pleasing, losing yourself in relationships
lack of discernment and ability to assess character
All of these are able to be overcome, and I would argue that part of our collective responsibility in creating the new paradigm of relationships are bringing most of this up to the surface so that we can heal and move forward.
What would relationships look and feel like if these unconscious patterns were overcome?
What is the vast, untapped potential of relationships when we stop leaking our energy in this way?
When you begin to heal and transmute these relationship wounds, you will begin to understand the true meaning of liberation. It will be a felt sense, and you automatically become a wayshower of the new paradigm.
This may not even be something you wanted consciously, but the path of the wounded healer works in mysterious ways.
My hope for you is to realize the power of this work to completely change your life.
I am sure some of you already know that this is true.
If you’d like support on the path, I am offering a group program for men + women that starts on November 4, 2024.
There is no better time to do deep shadow work than the two most yin months of the year (the subconscious is the feminine or yin principle).
Details are below, I’d love to see you there.
NURTURE: An 8 week group program for men + women
November + December 2024
We will be weaving together spirituality, psychology, and relationships in this program.
Themes include inner child healing, mother wounds, respecting the true feminine, and deep restoration through yin practices.
Timed specifically to run during November and December, the two most yin months of the year, this group program will honor the call to go deeply inwards to replenish ourselves, restore our energy, and fill our cups in order to nurture ourselves + our relationships.
This is a time where significant healing and regeneration is possible, when we work consciously with the energies of mother earth, the winter season, and the feminine principle.
We will work deeply with our relationship with the mother. This includes forming a direct relationship to the divine mother, connecting to our own inner mother, healing any mother wounding, and how all of this impacts our relationships with others and ourselves.
This program is perfect for people who are single or in relationships. It is meant to be a profound shift inwards to heal our relationship wounds and develop true self-love so that we can show up for others in the best way possible.
Some of the areas we will focus on include:
understanding + attuning to the truth of the feminine
healing our relationship with the feminine, both externally and internally
inner child work, mother wounds, and emotional reparenting
self love, self worth + self compassion
freedom from codependency
healing insecure attachment
developing courage to speak openly + authentically (truth telling with love)
understand boundaries to protect our inner feminine
shadow work and the unconscious (and the Scorpio archetype)
surrendering the ego to the heart (becoming a vessel for the divine)
relational alchemy (mining the gold from our triggers and past wounding)
working with the astrological archetypes of Scorpio, Sagittarius + Capricorn
and much more.
From a relationship perspective, we will focus heavily on building a strong foundation of healthy relationship skills through healing self love and self worth, freeing ourselves from codependency, and building secure attachment.
The inner child healing work will go through seven stages, from pre-birth through adulthood. As we heal childhood wounds in a comprehensive way, any 'triggers' in your adult life will begin to neutralize and take a back seat in relationships, so that you can move into growth and expansion with your partner, friends, children, etc.
I have limited spots available, so sign up soon if you’d like to join us.
Leigh-Anne LoPinto is a psychologist, relationship coach, and breathwork teacher with 13 years of experience. She uses a psychological-spiritual approach to help people all over the world heal relationship wounds, overcome codependency, develop healthy self-love, and attract incredible relationships. She specializes in Divine Union and conscious relationships, using relationships to evolve on a soul level.
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