TOWARDS SEXUAL SOVEREIGNTY: THE ALCHEMICAL PURIFICATION PROCESS OF HUMAN SEXUALITY
[Note to readers: This is a companion piece to my previous article entitled Alchemy, Divine Union, and Spiritual Enlightenment, essentially a Part Two that applies the work to human sexuality. If you haven’t already read that article, it will help put this one into context.]
Sexual sovereignty, in my definition, is the reclamation of our true sexual essence, cleansed and cleared of any trauma, distortions, conditioning and programming that have tainted it into something that is not truly our own.
In other words, it is your AUTHENTIC sexuality and not a sexual persona.
I don’t think most people realize just how programmed their sexuality is. Not many people stop and think to question what’s under the surface, and it’s sad to see. Worse yet, if they do come to realize this, few would really care. I’ve seen that people like to cling tightly to their ‘preferences’ in this arena, allowing it to cloud and control their minds. They think that they are sexually advanced in some way with kinks, fetishes and toys, when this is a lie. Those things are born from trauma and are a perversion of true sexuality. This is actually sexual enslavement, keeping humanity small and stuck in superficiality that lacks depth and true connection - eye to eye, heart to heart, soul to soul.
Real authentic sexuality is beyond words, yet few have tasted it.
Sexual energy is the energy of creation - literally creating human life - and is aligned with God frequency in its purest form. Because it is so powerful and potent, it is targeted by the lower/darker forces who seek to manipulate, hijack, and control it, to prevent humanity from accessing its divine potential.
For humanity to become sexually sovereign is incredibly expansive and powerful beyond belief - because while sexuality has been demonized quite a bit in our world, and conversely, misused, it is actually a powerful key of communion with the Divine, when reclaimed and used as a bridge to the higher realms.
What has actually been happening is quite the opposite, our sexual energy collectively is being hijacked and programmed to take us in the other direction. So, this is the first thing to recognize.
With regards to the demonization of sexuality, Bringers of the Dawn states:
You have been taught this in order for you to be controlled and to keep you from seeking the freedom available through sexuality. Sexuality connects you with a frequency of ecstasy, which connects you back to your Divine source and to information.
We have spoken to a number of individuals who have been utilizing light. Since finding the proper partner in a monogamous situation, they have been able to achieve very high states of being…when your frequencies are attuned and joined by a love frequency, incredible things can occur…this has been one of the best-kept secrets on the planet.
And, since that book was written over thirty years ago, we have seen the pendulum swing to an ‘anything goes’ culture with regards to sexuality, which is another trap in and of itself that I will get into more as we continue.
If we think about the steps required on the path to Divine Union, we can apply the work to sexuality in particular - and this is a very necessary part of the process, as sexuality in general holds a lot of shadow and can be very uncomfortable for some people to face within themselves.
Similarly to part one of this article, I will include practical applications of this work towards the end of my writing - things you can do to move towards your True Self, sexually.
In my own life, I was only able to begin shadow work on my sexuality after I had lifted many other layers first, and I see this commonly with clients as well. So, trust yourself to know when you are ready. Simply reading this article can provide some internal inspiration; it can act as a catalyst to begin to alchemize this essential and rich gold mine within.
Whatever your beliefs are on sexuality, it is not hard to see a positive correlation between healing sexual wounds and trauma, as well as deconditioning ourselves from unhelpful or misleading beliefs about sexuality, and the upliftment of humanity. The shadow side of love, sex, and relationships in general includes a very dark and disturbing pocket of human behavior that is difficult for many people to look at with clear eyes.
What I had to learn the hard way in my life is that ignoring or turning away from this dark underbelly is not part of the solution, it must be faced and dealt with on a collective level. And yet, on the other side of the coin, it is important not to get swallowed up by the darkness and have it overtake you. We do need to hold the light and frequency of the higher octave of love, sex, and relationships that is possible. It’s collective shadow work that, when transmuted, will skyrocket us into the next level.
There’s quite a long list of things playing out right now that fit in the category of the shadow side of human sexuality, and I would list some of the big ones as child and human trafficking, pornography addiction (breeding more intense forms of sexual addiction, especially in our men), continued and intensifying victim/victimizer dynamics creating widespread sexual trauma, the non-monogamy trend, and hijacking and harvesting of female sexuality through promiscuity programming under the false guise of ‘sexual empowerment.’
Male sexuality is also being hijacked and harvested through pornography addiction, as men’s literal life force energy is being siphoned and weakened, leaving them chained to their lower nature and further blocking the opening of the heart, which is necessary for the higher octave of sexuality (the full intimate experience between two people, which includes not just pleasure but deep love and care for one another.)
While pleasure in and of itself has been demonized in the past, especially by organized religion, too much pleasure in isolation when not connected to the heart space is an inversion of the true purpose of sexuality, and is too easily manipulated to keep people stuck in the lower realms.
Now, there is likely some natural exploration in this area as a first step of healing sexual disconnection (i.e. if you truly are attempting to heal yourself from this idea of sexuality being evil, then you may go through a phase of exploration that does include promiscuity, and pleasure for the sake of pleasure alone).
Some individuals need this in order to reclaim their right to pleasure, and yet eventually come to the realization that pleasure in and of itself starts to get old over time, and does not satisfy the deeper yearning for true intimacy and deep connection with another human.
Once this realization occurs, it can propel the individual into deeper healing around fear of true intimacy and vulnerability, what constitutes a strong and healthy relationship, and even a bit more discipline and discernment with how their sexual energy is being used.
However, this rebelliousness around the former restrictions around sexuality - which is well-founded and onto something true - is also being manipulated into encouragement to stay in the hyper-sexual realms eternally as the ‘answer.’
Meaning, the natural inclination to liberate sexuality and follow the desire towards its higher expression is being interrupted and sidetracked into the lower realms, almost normalizing sexual addiction and depravity of all forms.
Ultimately, I believe in humanity and feel that the collective inner knowing (and Universal law) will eventually lead to the recognition that this is not nourishing on a soul-level, but it is a slippery slope, as sexual addictions can be very tricky and all-consuming for many people. As it goes so often, we may need a hard wake-up call to shift out of this.
In relation to the current trend of non-monogamy, and this false belief that humans are somehow wired that way, it is my understanding of Divine Union as facilitated by the path of spiritual partnership that it is only possible within a monogamous container.
And so while humans can do whatever they want to do with their sexual expression, if you are really committed to this path, it is with one partner alone.
This does not mean that you have to be with one person for the rest of your life. If that is the case and it is true, then wonderful. But there are times when relationships are only meant to last a certain amount of time.
Personally, I believe that it is wise to go as far as you can with a partner, while also being honest with yourselves around when it may be time to move on, for the highest good of both people. I am pro-commitment, while also leaving space for what’s true.
We are also seeing an attack on the Divine forms of feminine and masculine energy, with massive gender confusion and either a push to keep humanity locked into the shadow forms of each energetic (see part one here) or a negation of the importance of keeping these energetics distinct and separate (i.e. ‘non-binary’).
Regarding the latter, there is truth mixed in with distortions here, as we all do have both masculine and feminine energies inside of us to varying degrees, but respecting the polarity and complementary nature of these two separate energies allows us to perform the internal alchemy to achieve Divine Union. So, convincing people that the energetics of the masculine and feminine are made up as a false binary, and that humans are just ‘human,’ ends up robbing people of the two essential ingredients necessary to move towards Union.
This is a huge deal and is being done on purpose. When you rob people of the two essential ingredients for the Alchemical Marriage - the masculine + the feminine - you have nothing to work with.
With regards to the transgender phenomenon, the natural instinct internally towards inner union is currently being exploited by a hugely profitable industry pushing pharmaceutical interventions and surgical removal/alteration of reproductive body parts.
The idea of being born into the wrong body points to a value system fundamentally divorced from trust in life and God, and yet this explanation is somehow being normalized, which is very confusing for children especially. And so of course while adults have free reign over what they choose to do with their bodies, the true thing underneath it all is spiritual evolution towards inner union.
As is stated in the book Twin Souls (written in 1993, way ahead of its time):
We live in a time of gender confusion, even gender denial. We must look more deeply to the source of our sexuality. Sexuality is soul deep. Through all our incarnations we have been developing our basic gender while nurturing the essence of the opposite in our male or female soul. We have no need to alternate our sexes in earthly life. As a woman evolves she could say, “I, woman, know what it is like to be a man, without need of the body parts; I know it as my own inner masculine takes on strength and fortitude, creative initiative and leadership. And a man could say, “I, man, have knowledge of my womanliness, as my womanliness expands my heart from within, inspires my higher mind, and stirs my most compassionate and tender feelings towards the young and the needful all about me.”
Once we as a culture have a better understanding of inner union and its spiritual purpose, which can begin perhaps in a more psychologically accessible way with greater knowledge of Carl Jung’s concept of anima/animus integration, we can channel our inner urges to explore the full spectrum of consciousness into this path of individuation and evolution of the True Self.
Transitioning into the opposite sex as a remedy for what is really a spiritual calling is having devastating and often irreversible effects, as can be seen in the detransitioner movement.
Additionally, and this goes without saying, unhealed and unacknowledged trauma is so often at the root of individuals who feel a need to reject the body/sex they were born into.
So now, let’s return to the main idea of sexual sovereignty and how to get there. If my definition (again) is that this is the reclamation of our true sexual essence, cleansed and cleared of any trauma, distortions, conditioning and programming that have tainted it into something that is not truly our own, then we have a direction to move towards. Here is where we can get into the process of purification, a releasing of anything that has turned our authentic sexuality into something that is not truly ours.
Step One: If you consume pornography, stop.
Pornography is designed to create addictions, divorce sexuality from love, and program dark (and often violent) sexual preferences into your brain. For men especially, it is siphoning massive amounts of life force energy that is weakening them, leaving them drained and easy to control.
Many consumers are incredibly desensitized to the point where they have been cut off from a healthy, connected sexual exchange. Pornography is a huge problem that will only intensify with the rise of AI, so the more we can spread awareness and speak openly about this topic now, the better.
If you need support, please work with a therapist or trusted support person. There is no shame here. While it is true that we all need to take personal responsibility for our behavior, the reality is that pornography is intentionally created to manipulate you.
It is vitally important as you are attempting to heal this form of addiction that you realize that true, connected intimacy with another person is unlike nothing else in the world. And as you move towards liberating yourself from this dark addiction that keeps you chained to a shame spiral, begin to nourish yourself with authentic connection with other humans, especially those you share intimate energy with.
Sexuality is not meant to be suppressed, it’s meant to be channeled into a higher expression. In addition to getting specialized support on the addiction, it can help to work with a coach or therapist who specializes in spiritual sexuality to help you discover and move towards the vast potential of true sexuality.
However, within these realms, it is very important to be discerning about who you choose to work with. Make sure that your values align. Unfortunately, I see many people who are doing this work that are enabling the lower path through the celebration and encouragement of non-monogamy, kink, fetishes, and more. For example, many tantra communities are filled with sex addicts and predators hiding under a spiritual facade.
As a grown adult, it is up to you whether or not you want to eventually allow the use of some pornography into your life. I personally am not for it, but everyone has free will. The important recommendation here is that you take this first step so that you can begin the process of deprogramming yourself from external preferences and addictive manipulations. It is the beginning stage of getting clear on your authentic sexuality, not that which is being programmed into you by some external standard of what is attractive.
Step Two: If you are a woman, ask yourself if you are participating in the shadow aspect of the feminine that is playing out collectively right now - the use of sexuality as a way to (intentionally or unintentionally) manipulate and hook men.
Much of this is hidden under the guise of ‘sexual empowerment’ and yet is an inverted use of sexuality, women’s version of using sexuality as a control game of having power-over.
Do you post sexual images or videos of yourself on social media? You may not think you’re being overly sexual, but subtle hooks are the norm at this point, and it’s starting with our young girls at an early age.
Get really honest with yourself about the intention behind this. Is there an underlying need for attention or validation? Value yourself. Know that your worth comes from much more than your sexual attractiveness. Running around in a bra and underwear in front of thousands of people is not liberation.
This kind of behavior isn’t just limited to the manipulation of men, women are also using their sexuality to sell all kinds of things online to both men and women, in subtle or not-so-subtle ways.
The lesson here is to reclaim your sexuality as sacred, and become discerning about who you choose to share that with.
Step Three: Become conscious of all external input around sexuality that is influencing you.
Television, movies, music, books, social media, billboards, other people’s opinions, and so much more is conditioning you on a daily basis to develop certain beliefs and preferences about sexuality, and has been since day one.
Take time to consider what you allow into your field, and clean out the rest. In particular, during this initial stage of getting crystal clear what your own, unique sexual expression is, it can help to go on a total media cleanse. Think of this as part of a sexual detox. Sexuality is used in all of these arenas to hook you in and increase consumption. See the game and opt out.
Step Four: Within this reprieve from external stimulation, take time to go within to explore your sexuality.
Start to remember how your sexuality began to develop, from as early on as your memory will allow. It can be helpful to journal about this so you have a full written account of how it came to be, and if you’re working with a therapist to heal sexual trauma and dysfunctions, this is an essential piece. After you have written it all out, see if you can begin to see the bigger perspective of why certain preferences or patterns came to be.
Can you see how your sexuality has been shaped by your family upbringing, what you learned in school, religion, how your friends expressed their sexuality, and all of the media we discussed earlier?
Which of the aspects of how your sexuality has been shaped feel true and authentic to you? Which do not?
There will be certain things that may be obvious to you on a conscious level that you’d like to clean up, while other things may be more hidden. Shadow work will help you dig deeper.
One of the patterns I see frequently with female clients is a sexual attraction towards partners who don’t treat them very well (the whole ‘bad boy’ thing). Since the sex tends to be intense and passionate, and is tied to unconscious trauma bonding, it can be a hard pattern to break.
Listen to the podcast episode here if this is something you can relate to. Rewiring sexual attraction to align with a more healthy expression is something I help many of my clients with. While women like to joke about this kind of thing, it’s not actually funny when it plays out for real. This is a big shadow that women need to face.
Step Five: Face and heal sexual abuse and trauma.
This ties into step three, but deserves its own space due to the profound affect it has on our sexuality, in addition to the sheer numbers of people who have experienced it.
The vast majority of my clients have true trauma in this domain, and many have not been able to accept or label it as such. Healing and reclaiming sexuality as a deeply connected act of love between two people - in addition to the profound spiritual potential within that has been hidden from the majority of humans - is a huge gift you can give to yourself and others.
When a deep and intimate connection is exchanged between two people on a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level, there is nothing that is more healing. I have no doubt that if we can move towards this type of sexual exchange within committed, conscious partnership, that the world would radically change for the better.
Before you skip this step if you truly feel you don’t have any sexual trauma, also consider that much more subtle negative influences have shaped your sexuality. Look at the relationship between your mother and father and what was modeled for you, especially with regards to intimacy and sexual connection.
And, any mother or father wounds (from overt to subtle) can absolutely shape our ability to be vulnerable and connected with other people, especially as it relates to the deepest form of intimacy.
People who have a more avoidant attachment style and/or difficulty with emotional expression and availability need to pay special attention to healing these areas.
Step Six: Take time to get clear on where you are at with your sexuality. Where do you want to go with it? What is your dream sex life? What still needs healing?
If you have a partner, share these reflections with each other as a move towards open communication around sexuality. It can be exciting to deepen your sexual connection, and it also signals a level of commitment to this area within your relationship that can feel very freeing and healing. Your bond will deepen immensely.
Also, as you begin the more generalized shadow work that I described in part one that moves you towards true embodiment of the Divine Feminine and Masculine, your sexuality will naturally evolve and reflect that.
Our sexuality tends to amplify the things that live in our shadow that have not been brought to consciousness, so that work will directly refine your sexuality. This article allows you to go even deeper into sexual sovereignty, so read both parts.
The next suggestions are a little bit more advanced.
Step Seven: Explore practicing masculine/feminine polarity in the bedroom. The way that I teach polarity is non-dogmatic, as I help people move towards inner union, but it can be incredibly profound and deeply healing for women to drop into deep surrender and receptivity in the bedroom. This helps them to move towards true embodiment of the Divine Feminine.
Especially for women who have experienced sexual trauma, this can be a huge part of healing - to slowly learn to dearmor yourself, relax, and let go in the bedroom with a partner you can trust. Of course, deep surrender is only possible with a partner that is trustworthy, and more men need to understand their part here.
It is also incredibly healing for a man to experience his woman in this state. Often, deep emotional releases for both partners occur within this dynamic. It is most profound when you are with a partner with whom you have a physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection. Layers and layers of trauma can be released in this way.
Men can also practice learning to receive by fully relaxing and enjoying oral sex, giving the woman an opportunity to be the giver as an act of devotion and deep love for her partner.
Step Eight: Learn how to work on an energetic level to cleanse and clear any sexual trauma or imprinting that is influencing your sexuality behind the scenes.
This is a critically important step for anyone who has been impacted by dark sexual energy, including everyone who has been exposed to pornography, anyone with sexual abuse/trauma, and anyone who is running any of the darker sexual energy in their lives, consciously or unconsciously.
This energy is a parasitic energy that infects humans, hijacking their brains and distorting their preferences and behaviors. It is masterful at convincing you that “it” is you, and acts as a negative thought form that feeds off of your sexual energy. If you want to go more in depth on this, please read pages 140-175 of my teacher’s second book here.
In my personal life, it wasn’t until I discovered breathwork and used it to intentionally clear the energy of sexual abuse in my energy field that I was able to finally stop attracting dark sexual energy into my life through others.
This step can be overwhelming for people. Please book a free call with me if you need to talk about this more. I have also studied with David Elliott to help clients clear energetically during sessions.
One of the most impactful things I have done in my own healing has been to use the following energetic clearing breathworks, and I have referred hundreds of people to these links:
Energy/Entity Release:
Energy/Entity Release 2:
Step Nine: Learn about the bigger agenda to program men and women to have distorted sexual preferences that take us away from Divine Union. This is a huge rabbit hole, and I can send you some resources if you want to go deeper, but the bottom line here is that because the path of Divine Union is a spiritual path to enlightenment that includes huge potential for evolution, and the powers that be are well aware of this, there is an agenda to take people in the opposite direction.
Personally, I want to be well aware of all of the external attempts to manipulate me in a way that restricts my spiritual liberation, and it helps to keep me devoted to the path.
To conclude this deep dive into sexual sovereignty, my intention with this article was to provide an outline of sexual healing as it fits in to the path of Divine Union, because this is a big shadow area that needs attention and must be looked at for those drawn to the path.
Once liberated and brought back into alignment with your true nature, sexuality can be part of an accelerated spiritual path.
As always, if you need support with any of the aspects described in this article, please reach out. This is my life’s work, and it is an great honor to support those who are sincerely on the path.
Leigh-Anne LoPinto is a psychologist, breathwork teacher, and relationship coach based in Los Angeles. She works with clients all over the world to strengthen foundational relationship skills, heal core wounds, practice conscious relationships, and move towards true Divine Union.
Learn more about The Wayshowers mentorship here.